Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize