Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
