Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
