Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
