You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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