It's just like the Real World with babies
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
