I'm eating all of the evidence.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
