You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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