my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
