I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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