The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
