this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Of course I have a pirate flag
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize