her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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