I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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