Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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