Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize