I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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