I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
