just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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