It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize