i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
