six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
