Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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