I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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