how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
