WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
