just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
