I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
