she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
