Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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