Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text

Fav 5 1307 2021
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(816): View more from Missouri

dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life

Fav 11 3624 1109
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(661): View more from California

His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.

Fav 14 1040 3498
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(407): View more from Florida

Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.

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(330): View more from Ohio

She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?

Fav 2 1447 638
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(303): View more from Colorado

That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?

Fav 5 1809 622
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?

Fav 2 1233 533
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(425): View more from Washington

Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.

Fav 0 423 150
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(630): View more from Illinois

21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.

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