i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
love makes seman taste better
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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