And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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