I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
