awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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