you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
