I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
