To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
