Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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