omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
