Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
