so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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