You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
