i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
