Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
