I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we're making bets on your personal life
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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