dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
