I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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