I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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