I'm really into asian looking animals
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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