Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
smell my finger.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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