My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize