She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
