So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
