i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
