I skipped work to stalk him.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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