I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
