I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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