I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
