the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
