what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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