OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
